So Long Insecurity - Week Three

If you don't know this yet, I'm reading the book, "So Long Insecurity: You've been a bad friend to us," by Beth Moore. There is a weekly book discussion and then in April a webcast to discuss insecurity and combat it. Here is my contribution to week 3.

Come, Lord Jesus, and minister to us. Open our eyes. Open our hearts. Grant us signs of great freedom and healing even this week as we discover where our insecurities may be coming from. We know, Lord, that no flesh and blood can bring us what we need. If we come out of this with liberty, all glory will go to You alone. I love You, Father. Do Your Thing.

1. After reading these two chapters, what do you believe to be the TWO primary roots of your struggle with insecurity? Keep in mind that more may apply but try to lock in on two that you believe to be most impactful.

The two primary roots of my struggle with insecurity are REJECTION and Personal Disposition. Stemming from my childhood I never handled rejection well. As an athlete not making the team, I would cry my eyes out and my parents only comfort was that I didn't need that team anyway. When I had my first break up ever - - that feeling of rejection was awful and I got the same response from my parents. I was so afraid of failure or being imperfect even to this day that I can't handle failure and rejection very well. When I got laid off from work or when my boyfriends or husbands cheated on me, I felt so rejected that somehow I wasn't (fill in the blank) enough. Personal disposition is definitely me. I am very hypersensitive floating from emotion to emotion so quickly that not many people can keep up with me. I have cried so many times at church because I'm happy - - I have to wear waterproof mascara. The other day, some squirrels were fighting and running across the street. I tried to avoid them but ran over one of them and felt so bad that day.

2. What, if any, insight did you gain about the roots of insecurity and did you sense that God was trying to speak to you in any specific way through it? (This answer does not need to be limited to the two roots you identified in the previous response.)

I've learned that the roots of insecurity are found in anyone and anybody I meet could have had those same experiences. I definitely know of individuals who have had difficult family upbringing or dramatic loss or change in their lives as well as a root of their insecurities. I also see some things as a catalyst for positive change. I understand my hypersensitivity and love that about myself because I know that I have compassion and that with discipline and teaching I can use that compassion towards positive ventures and activities for my spiritual growth and to assist others.