I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.

From the article newsletter of  Laurie Maddalena at Envision Excellence - envisionexcellence.net    The Science of Positivity

"I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well."   ~ Diane Ackerman    Although negativity can be appropriate and useful at times (like mourning a loss) gratuitous negativity is neither helpful nor healthy. Gratuitous negativity, like snapping at your spouse, berating yourself, or dwelling on a comment from a co-worker, only intensifies your negative feelings far beyond their usefulness.   Fredrickson introduces scientific research that shows positivity broadens our minds and widens the span of possibilities that we see. She discovered that a "positivity ratio" of 3 to 1 is the tipping point that predicts whether you languish or flourish. Meaning, for every one negative emotional experience you feel, you have at least three positive emotional experiences that uplift you. Most people have a positivity ratio below 2 to 1. A study of positivity in teams by Marcial Losada revealed that high-performing teams stood out with their unusually high positivity ratios, at about 6 to 1. Most "mixed performance" teams had ratios at around 2 to 1. High-performing teams had higher connectivity among the members. They asked questions as much as they defended their own views, and cast their attention outward as much as inward. Low-performing teams had much lower connectivity, asked almost no questions, and showed almost no outward focus. This is the most common team dynamic. Positivity has a trickling effect, and if you consciously work toward building your positivity ratio, you will see excellent results in your relationships, your teams, and your life. Here are nine strategies for increasing your positivity ratio: Dispute negative thoughts. When you think negative thoughts, examine the facts. How do those thoughts compare to reality? What are the facts about the situation? When you debate the negative thoughts, you often can dissolve them as you check them against reality. Become more mindful. When you're in a team meeting, notice how much you defend your ideas or focus on yourself. Are you thinking of your rebuttal while the other person is talking? Ask more questions and focus on listening intently to your co-workers. Cultivate kindness.  Go completely out of your way to bring joy or positivity to someone else. You'd be surprised how great it will make you feel and how one act of kindness can positively impact the relationship. Pick the person who would least expect it. Do you have a co-worker you disagree with frequently? Buy her flowers. Write her a card telling her what attributes you value in her. Do something out of your comfort zone. Appreciate. Study participants who regularly focused on aspects of their lives that made them feel appreciative increased their positivity. A few times a week, write down what you appreciate in your life, your team, your co-workers, etc. Connect with others. Managers often get so caught up in the tactics of work, that they lose sight of building relationships. Get out of your office and connect with your staff on topics other than work. Take them to lunch. Write them a note of thanks. The key is to fully engage and create high-quality connections. Build positivity into meetings. At the start of each team meeting, read a positive quote, or have everyone answer an interesting question like "What has been your favorite vacation?" or "If you could start all over, what profession would you choose?" You will learn more about your teammates and start the meeting off with a positive tone. Connect with nature. The average person spends 93 percent of their time indoors. Fresh air and natural beauty clears your mind and leaves you feeling more positive. Assume good intent. When a co-worker does something to upset you, assume the intent was good. Instead of reacting, find out their side of the story. Resist the urge to react negatively. Approaching the person with an open mind is often enough to diffuse the situation. Limit media consumption. The average person watches four hours and 49 minutes of television a day. Research shows that negative news stories influence public pessimism. Choose deliberate activities that contribute to positivity like reading an uplifting book or taking a walk. Research shows that positivity produces success in life as much as it reflects success in life. Make a conscious decision today to build your positivity ratio.